Tuesday, July 17, 2012

"Do I have a vagina?"

My older sister was packing her things for a trip to visit me in North Caroline when she asked "do you have a blow-dryer or should I bring mine?" My reply was crude but got the point across when I simply said "do I have a vagina?" Luckily the inappropriateness of this didn't affect my sister and she  understood that I did indeed own a blow-dryer.

This post is meant as an introduction of sorts and it the first blog I have ever posted...since live journal anyway. So why am I talking about a blow-dryer and who cares? Well I don't know for sure if anyone cares. About 7 months ago I heard that people who write in blogs are more successful than people who don't. The why can be explained by the following story.

I once called a good friend of mine up on a work night just to chat. The normal "hello's" and "how are yous" were exchanged and I asked her what she was up to. The answer was that she was blow-drying her hair. This was exciting because she must be up to something fun so I asked her where she was going. Nowhere. "Then why are you blow-drying your hair?" Her answer was simple "Just getting ready for work tomorrow." The fact that I had to ask would have been embarrassing but things like that don't normally faze me. If I had just showers in preparation for a work day I would be air drying on the sofa watching reruns of Seinfeld and drinking a glass of wine. I am not glamorous.

Mandy (my blow-drys her hair before work friend) is glamorous. No one would ever ask her is she owned a blow-dryer. They would know without question that she had a blow-dryer, straightener and curling iron. They would also hope that she would use these tools on them as they are useless in the hands of air drying amateurs such as myself. She is the kind of girl who has a large pallet of eye shadows (and not the cheep kind). Glamorous! She is beautiful, kind, ladylike, fun as hell and I can listen to her stories for hours. Facebook features several photographs she had a photographer friend take for a party she was having (this in itself paints a picture of New York style glamor I know nothing about). I would love to have those photos hanging in the entryway to my guest bathroom but alas I'm too self conscious as I'm sure my husband would make unintentional comparisons when he spots me in the mirror alongside her gorgeous face. (Also when sending the photos via internet to Walgreens for printing a copyright imprint foiled my plans)

The moral of the story is that I'm not glamorous. I have made several attempts to pull off glamor on a one night only basis but the results are never glorifying. I wore no makeup to my prom. I got married in a courthouse. I have been known to get a dirty pair of pants from the basket when no clean ones are to be found. I have never been to a ball although the opportunity came and went. I didn't have my first pedicure until I was 25. I drive a ford pickup. I only shave the upper half of my leg about 4 or 5 times a year. My dog is larger than a bread basket. And I love to air dry my hair.

So there you have it. Me. This is not one of those nutshell things but just a simple introduction. May no ones hopes be set too high. In an effort to become more successful I hope to continue this blog for all to see. I know little of interesting cult topics like B-Movies and Vinyl Records so you won't find much of that here. If I continue to "blog my way to the top" it will be by writing about myself. So buckle up.

Carrie Ann Brewer

Special thanks to Mandy my wonderful friend. I'm so happy to have met you! You always make me feel loved and special. Your glamor is more than skin deep and I'm lucky to have a friend like you.

Much love



  1. Love it. My first pedicure was at 39 LOL. But I don't even own a blow dryer.

  2. This nearly had me in tears. I'm so happy to add you to my blog roll (morning newspaper). You are aready surpassing the rest with your writing skills, humor and refreshing honesty. I can't wait to read every single one of your future posts. Your first one is awesome! And I'm not just saying that because you graciously featured moi. I got my first pedi when I was 24, I wear my jeans over and over before washing and I only shave the bottom half of my legs. I miss you so much and I can't wait to make more stories with you.